Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
