I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
