went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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