Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
