so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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