Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We have started to decorate penises.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
