i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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