My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
