Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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