Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
