So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
