I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
