Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
