And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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