you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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