a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
