Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
