Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
