I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
