i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
