ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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