Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
