This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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