im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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