Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
