i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Still dying that you shit outside
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize