a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
