He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
