yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
vagina is talking i cant
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
