Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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