Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
