The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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