Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
