There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This gyro tastes like lonliness
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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