Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
