Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
