so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
