I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
