my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
