do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
