This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
