I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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