just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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