You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
