whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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