Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There are leaves in my underwear?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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