Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
