my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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