I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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