his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
