You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize