:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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