she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
