i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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