I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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