I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize