I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
