Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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