i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
