is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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