I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
