oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
