I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
