Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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