So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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