Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
