I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
