Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
