8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize