I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
